What IFS Can Do for You – Part 1: Understanding the Parts

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, is a powerful way to understand why we do what we do—and why sometimes we feel like we are at war with ourselves. The central idea is that our mind is made up of “parts.” These parts are not imaginary; they are real patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior that take on different roles. In IFS therapy, the first step is to meet these parts, understand them, and see what they are doing for us.

The Three Categories of Parts

Richard Schwartz describes three main types of parts: Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles.

Exiles. These are the wounded parts of us. Exiles carry the painful memories, the shame, the fear, the grief—usually from early experiences of trauma, neglect, or rejection. They are called “exiles” because we try to push them out of our awareness. The problem is, exiles never really disappear. They remain inside us, waiting to be heard.

Managers. These parts run the show most of the time. Managers are perfectionists, caretakers, planners, and critics. Their job is to keep the exiles hidden. They try to control our world so that we never have to feel the pain lurking in the exiles. Sometimes they do this in helpful ways, but often their strategies come at a high cost—like relentless self-criticism or impossible standards.

Firefighters. When exiles break through with overwhelming feelings, firefighters rush in. They are the impulsive parts that act quickly to numb or distract. Think binge eating, substance use, compulsive shopping, or stirring up chaos to avoid sitting with pain. Firefighters don’t think long-term; they just want to stop the hurt right now.

A Composite Example

Consider a fictional scenario based on themes I’ve seen in therapy. Imagine a person abandoned as a child by a parent struggling with addiction. The memory of abandonment is painful—an exile holding grief, shame, and loneliness. Because those feelings are unbearable, other parts step in. A manager might drive this person toward perfectionism: “If I succeed, maybe I’ll be safe.” When the pain breaks through anyway, a firefighter might take over, pushing the person toward compulsive shopping. Soon, their house is full of things, but their life feels empty.

This isn’t laziness or weakness. It’s the mind’s way of coping with wounds that feel too big to face.

There Are No Bad Parts

A core belief of IFS therapy is that there are no bad parts. Every part, even the firefighter that spends recklessly or the manager that criticizes harshly, has a protective intent. They may cause problems, but they are trying to shield us from something worse—the pain of the exile. In therapy, we approach each part with compassion, asking:

• What is this part protecting me from?

• Does this strategy still serve me?

• Is there another way to feel safe?

Understanding our managers, firefighters, and exiles is only the beginning. Once we see how these parts operate, the next challenge is learning how to step back from them—what IFS calls unblending. That’s where we begin to access the Self: the calm, compassionate center that can lead us toward real healing. We’ll take a closer look at that process in Part 2.

Here if you need me.

Thomas Wood, LCSW