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Your adult child gets to decide how they think and feel about you. This sounds obvious, but it is a massive shift from when they were young and you shaped their world. You may have grown accustomed to your version of events being definitive. It was then; it isn't now.

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Their feelings, however inconvenient, painful, or baffling to you, are legitimate to them. Accepting this reality is not the same as agreeing with it, nor is it a defeat. It is simply acknowledging that they have a right to think and feel however they actually think and feel.

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Questions to Explore

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When you imagine fully accepting your child's feelings, without agreeing or conceding, what internal reaction comes up for you?

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Do you find yourself wanting to argue them out of their perception, or explain why they're wrong? How has that strategy worked so far?

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In what ways does accepting their feelings feel like a verdict against your character?

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When has someone refused to validate your own feelings? What did that feel like, and how can that memory inform your approach now?

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