Whether your grief is a slowly gathering storm or a rapid escalation to peak intensity, at some point it will hit you. At first there is denial, shock, and confusion. Then comes the haunting question of whether you're the monster they seem to think you are.

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Nobody wants to lose a son or daughter, yet this seems worse because they are lost-but-not-lost. Every now and then you are reminded they are out there, actively choosing not to have a relationship with you. People tell you it gets better. They're right, eventually – but the present moment remains brutal.

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Questions to Explore

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Where are you right now in the emotional arc – in shock, deep in grief, somewhere in between?

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The question “Was I really that terrible?” tends to haunt people in estrangement. How are you answering it? Is your answer fair to you?

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Does this fracture echo earlier experiences of being left or rejected?

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What do you most need right now that you're not getting?

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